Tuesday, February 3, 2015


Tortillas and Biscuits. I myself partake of them both, mainly as breads to accompany a meal. But lately I have been inundated with recipes which are going to magically transform these breads into model pastries and "to die for" desserts.

Uhmmmm, not exactly.

There is no amount of  "magic" which will turn this collection of ingredients into anything that even closely resembles or tastes like a French apple pastry. EVER!!

I kid you not, the recipe said it would taste just like a French pastry, that allowing the tortilla to soak in apple pie filling and maple syrup would transform it into a pastry like dough which couldn't be distinguished from the real thing. Apparently, the creator of that recipe has never tasted the real thing!
I can appreciate that in today's busy world, shortcuts are needed in the kitchen. But please be wary of any recipe that starts with "It tastes just like..."!
I guess what got me going was the sheer number of these 'tastes just like' recipes which have been posted on my wall over at Facebook. And this one with the apple pie filling is now currently making the rounds in the guise of an "apple enchilada". Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all of them are bad, I'm just saying that if you want something that tastes like French pastry, buy (or make) French pastry. If you want something that tastes like a stale, soggy tortilla, I'd go for the apple enchilada.
And here's another one that's out there, tiramisu. The whole wheat tortilla version:

And another actual version. Seriously, which one would you pick?

It's not always desserts either. The lowly tortilla is all purpose. Wrapping a hot dog in a tortilla, baking it covered with a can of chili and some cheese, has become a chili cheese dog casserole. REALLY? Not at my house. You want a chili cheese dog, it's going to come on a freshly baked bun with home made chili!
Like I said, it's not all bad. Even I enjoyed the strawberry cheesecake chimichanga!
Did it taste like cheesecake? No, but it was good!
And now biscuits are getting in on the dessert action. And it's those pre-made biscuits that come in a tube. The current hot recipe on those is to cut the centers out, deep fry them, sprinkle them with sugar, and VOILA!!! You have bakery donuts! No, you don't. You have fry bread sprinkled with sugar.
Maybe I'm just too much of a realist. Here's some yeast raised donuts that I made last week, totally from scratch.
They aren't the prettiest donuts I've ever made, but you know what they tasted like? DONUTS FROM A BAKERY!!! Chocolate and plain, glazed and frosted, they were good stuff.
Baked regular biscuits, covered with store bought strawberry jam that you melted in the microwave, topped with whipped cream, is not strawberry short cake. IT'S BISCUITS AND JAM!!!
This is strawberry shortcake!
The recipes are quick and easy, but really, if anywhere in there it says that it tastes just like something, I would have something else!! Just wait until they discover that you can wrap all kinds of things in an egg roll wrapper and either deep fry it or bake it.
That's the day I'm going to just permanently seal off all the doors to my kitchen! Happy cooking to you all and enjoy.


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