Food for Friends: A Rant About the Food Police

RANTING ABOUT THE FOOD POLICE

Let me start by saying that I follow several food and baking sites, blogs and Facebook pages that feature food. I enjoy seeing what you're making and how you're making it. I am inspired by what you all do, and I try doing a lot of it myself. I am fully aware that there are vegetarians, vegans, meat lovers, no gluten, no sugar, only organic, non-GMO, low salt, no salt, deep fried, only eat it raw people out there who all prepare amazing foods and meals.

I know that peanut allergies, lactose intolerance, diabetes and celiac disease are serious health issues, especially if you have them. I know that some of you will have moral issues with some of things I prepare. Well, here's the deal, you're not sitting at my table or in my kitchen, and even if you were, I wouldn't force you to eat it!

I prefer to cook with fresh ingredients, from scratch. I am not however, opposed to using pre-packaged prepared foods. Take this cake, it was made from a boxed cake mix, mainly because I don't have a good recipe for a small, moist white cake.

For this cake I used half of a boxed cake mix (they were on sale for something like 99 cents so I bought several). I mixed it up using the instructions on the box, halved of course, because I only used half the dry mix. I baked it a spring form pan. When it was cooled I sliced it in half so that I had two inch layers. I whipped up one cup of heavy cream, sweetened it with Splenda, I spread a healthy bunch of it on the bottom layer and dotted it with mandarin oranges out of a can. The top layer is frosted with a cream cheese frosting (like butter cream, but use cream cheese instead of butter, flavored it with orange flavor right out of a little bottle. Garnished it with more orange slices and whipped cream, and some little dots of raspberry sauce with is nothing more than some jelly that I warmed up in the microwave.

When I posted it, out came the food police, all over my case about not including nutritional information, One even demanded that before I post any more food pictures, I must post my food handler's certification so that people would know if I actually was trained to work with food.

They wanted to know if my eggs were from free range chickens, told me about all the health issues I was going to have from eating cake. Lighten up people, if you don't want to eat it, don't. But I like cake, and I will eat it!

So to address their concerns, I've designed my own warning labels. Please note that they contain offensive language, sarcasm, and inappropriate stereo types. It's my take on sarcastic humor.